Love Essentially: 7 Tips to turn a first date into many, many more
By Jackie Pilossoph
We’ve all been there. You’re sitting across the table from someone who you think is close to perfect. Smiling from ear to ear, you sip wine and barely eat as you gaze into his or her beautiful eyes, unable to believe that after countless awful dates, you actually met someone who stopped your world.
I’m describing a really, really great first date. Unfortunately, no one gets too many of those, as lots of first dates end in disappointment, irritation, and nightmare stories you end up sharing with your friends. So, how can you turn a first date into many, many more?
In an article posted on yourtango.com on September 12th, author Kait Smith discusses “3 Modern Day Deal Breakers”. The post references an it’s Just Lunch survey that interviewed over 1600 people. Respondents were asked whether income, education and career matter when seeking a partner. Questions were specific to work, education and money. Smith argues the results show that some women are still looking for protectors and times have not changed as much as we might think.
Okay, we admit it, lunch could lead to . . . something.
The Cornell University research article published in Plos One titled “It’s Not Just Lunch: Extra-Pair Commensality Can Trigger Sexual Jealousy” finds that “people are evolved to recognize that eating together tends to involve, or perhaps lead to, something more than food.”
The study included 76 participants and was produced by the Dyson School of Applied Economics and Management at Cornell University. Authors Professor Brian Wansink and Kevin M. Kniffin discovered that meals with the opposite sex consistently elicit more jealousy from significant others than face-to-face interactions.
It’s not necessarily any situation where food is shared that elicits jealousy though. It’s the time you congregate and what you consume that counts. For instance, morning coffee is innocuous vs an evening meal, which is seen as more of an intimate interaction. Instinctively many of us are already aware of this and for It’s Just Lunch the nuances of this interaction are an art form. In fact we were delighted to see the topic under scrutiny. We encourage you to check out the article for an interesting perspective on what time, place and type of food can indicate.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Dating – Good Things Come to Those Who Wait
Online dating photos can motivate us to make a decision about a person too quickly. Frank Partnoy summarizes his new book “Wait: The Art and Science of Delay” and references It’s Just Lunch as one of his case study examples in this short KPBS News video clip.
Procrastination is underrated according to Frank Partnoy. In his recently published book, “Wait: The Art and Science of Delay”, he discusses the possibility that there is too much pressure to make quick choices and that we can all benefit from taking the maximum time allotted before making a decision.
Professor Frank Partnoy is a Professor of Law and Finance and the director of the Center on Corporate and Securities Law at the University of San Diego. He is one of the world’s leading experts on the complexities of modern finance and financial market regulation.
In his book he draws a relationship between delayed responses and successful actions. The stock market, sports and dating are a number of examples he uses to show that measured, calculated and patient responses are superlative. It’s important to note though that he is not insisting you drag out the decision making process unnecessarily. He is simply saying, that once you ascertain the appropriate time frame, allow yourself until the very last moment to arrive at the outcome. This way you are likely to make a better decision.
In “Blink” a book about rapid cognition, Malcom Gladwell supports the theory that often our first decision is the right one, but even so he references gut instinct as a successful tool for experts. Partnoy does not overlook the need for urgency; rather he cites studies that show emergency room doctors who practice waiting one minute longer before deciding how to treat a life threatening injury have better success in saving the lives of their patients. The reality is though that almost all the decisions that we make in our lives every day are not life threatening, including choosing who we date, so ultimately time is a luxury we do have. Why rush it?
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Matchmakers Say Singles Should Celebrate Unattached Status
If you don’t have a husband or wife at home, you should be celebrating this week. The third full week of September has been dedicated to Americans who are unmarried and single. Whether you’ve never been married, are divorced, or widowed this week is all about you.
The goal of ‘Unmarried Singles Americans Week’ is to celebrate and recognize solo Americans. New census figures shows unmarried Americans are a big part of the population, and those who work with singles locally say more and more are unattached by choice.
When specialty dating service It’s Just Lunch asked 5000 singles, “When you are on a first date, what thought is going through your head?” they received an unexpected result: Not only did men and women have different top answers, but the first choice given by 47% of men, “Could we have a relationship together?”
The good news for doctors who expect to work weekends and get paged at 3 a.m. at some point in the near future is that life does get easier, says Parrott. Translation: You’ll have more opportunities to meet someone and go on dates, even if you’re no longer treated to med-school mixers. Melissa Brown, president of national dating service It’s Just Lunch, which counts a growing number of doctors in its client base, suggests committing to at least a few hours a week for dating whether you’re just starting your residency or are an established doctor.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Liam pairs up with Diablo Magazine to find the best date spots in the bay area and then we’ll sit down with Bay Area locals to hear their dating stories plus get a bit of professional advice from San Francisco’s “Its Just Lunch” dating experts on how to find a date and keep them happy!
It’s Just Lunch, a dating service for busy professionals, surveyed 3,968 singles nationwide about how much they spend on dates. It found that 51% of men in the U.S. spend more than $100 a month on dates, and 29% spend more than $150. In bigger cities, those figures are higher. For example, 82% of men in Los Angeles spend more than $150 a month on dates.
Women, on the other hand, spend significantly less. About two-thirds of women spend less than $50 a month. Perhaps it’s a sign that the Southern gentleman is still around, but 75% of women in the South spend less than $50 a month on dates.
PJ Osgood of It’s Just Lunch was in the no-chat camp until recently when she met a guy from a flight between Houston and Chicago and they decided to share a cab into the city.
“We had this great conversation and we exchanged business cards and the next day we went out to dinner,” Osgood says.
A love connection was not to be (no chemistry, she says), but he was worth meeting, and this got Osgood, a frequent traveler, thinking she’s been missing opportunities aloft.